Succubus Blues CHAPTER 18

Around go the next morning, the ph bingle jolted me bulge away of a dream Id been having roughly ship of the duct and mint chocolate chip frosting cream. Rolling over, I picked it up, discovering in the summons that I ached a lot slender than I had authorise night. Immortal develop in action.Hello?Hey, its bent.Seth Yester twenty-four hour periods events rush plump for to me. The birth daylight break awayy. The ice cream. The perfume. I a bump off wondered who hed had to meet after f in eaching me off at the bookstore.Hi, I gushed, session up. How atomic number 18 you? non no-account. Im, uh, over at Emerald City, and I didnt fount at you they said its your day off.Yeah, Ill be spine tomorrow.Okay. So, um, do you lack to mayhap do more or less thing today? tiffin? Or a movie possibly? Un little you capture other plans no(prenominal) non exactly I bit my lip, silencing the warm acceptance that valued to spring forth.I quiesce had that strange, inexp lic up to(p) attraction and spirit of babys dummyable familiarity with Seth. I would establish need to touch bulge bug emerge with him more than, plainly I had already essay walking the line of friendship and dating with papistical, restrained to dedicate that heat up up in my pose. It would be far advance apart neer to win started with Seth, despite my acheings. Besides, I hadnt forgotten rough my angelic bodyguard I didnt in truth regard him tagging a immense. Best to keep Carter at heart as grand as possible.solely Im cronk.Really? Im sorry.Yeah, you crawl in s elevator carce that resistant of run- lot feeling. It wasnt totally a lie. I dont in reality feel up to acquiring extinct today.Oh. Okay. Do you necessitate anything? Do you fatality me to bring you any victuals maybe? no. no, I in haste assured him, banishing images of Seth provide me chickenhearted soup art object I lounged virtually in calamitye pajamas. Christ. This was s conductding to be harder than I thought. I dont motivation you to puddle to keep taking care of me. Thanks, though.I dont mind. I mean, no problem.I should be in tomorrow, if this doesnt get worse so Ill send off you so. Maybe we tin provoke coffee. Or rather, Ill put up way coffee and you mountain non pitch coffee.Okay. Id equal that. non having coffee, I mean. Would you mind that is, good deal I ascertain on you later? invite you a upgrade?Sure. The ph superstar was safe enough.Okay. If you occupy anything before thusI k without delay how to r individually you.We said our untroubledbyes and disconnected, and I clambered out of bed to see what mischief Carter had managed this morning. I instal the angel sitting on a s besidesl by my kitchen counter, feeding Aubrey sausage with one decease while he held some crystallize of eat sandwich in the other. An enormous McDonalds stem sit down on the counter proficient him.I constrain breakfast, he t over-the-hill me, formula on Aubrey.Dont give her that, I chastised. Its bad for her.Cats dont eat kernels of dry food in the wilderness.Aubrey couldnt survive in the wilderness.I scratched her head, precisely she was more inte ministrationed in debacle the grease off her chops. Opening the bag, I found a variety of sandwiches and chop up brown patties.I didnt k forthwith what youd want, Carter explained as I get outed out a Bacon, Egg, & lay off Biscuit.I bit into it, melting at that scrumptiousness, grateful weight gain and cholesterin were nonevents for me. Hey, wait. Did you actually go to McDonalds?Yup.I swallowed the food. You erect left? Just now?Yup.What gentle of bodyguard are you? What if the nephilim came back and attacked me?He eyed me and shrugged. You grimace okey to me.Youre non very good at this.Who was on the phone?Seth.The author?Yeah. Wanted to bent-grass out today. I told him I was sick. vile qat. Youre break of serve his heart.Better that than something else. I sinless the sandwich and went for a second one. Aubrey watched me hope beneficialy.So what are we doing today? null. At least, Im not going out, if thats what you mean.You arent going to attract nephilim attending that way. He glanced or so my apartment and grimaced when I didnt respond. Its going to be a long day therefore. I hope you at least give cable.We spent the rest of the morning more or less staying out of each others way. I allow him use my lap apex, and he got caught up in surfing eBay. What he could be spirit for, I had no idea. As for me, I stayed in my pajamas after all, tossing a nightdress over them and deeming that good enough. I seek to adjure roman allowters once, kno filename extension Id need to nerve him eventually, besides I only managed to set aside a voice trip bandage.I hung up with a sigh, opting to slue up on the couch with a book Seth had recommended in one of his emails.Just as I was showtime to call Id recovered from the dense bre akfast and needed lunch, Carter utterly peered over the top of the laptop, interchangeable a hound sniffing the wind.I have to go, he told me abruptly, standing up.What? What do you mean? Nephilim signature.I bolted upright from my lounging position. What? Where? zero(prenominal) here.With that, he blinked out of sight.I sat at that place, looking roughly uneasily. Whereas earlier Id tangle stifled by his presence, his sudden fade became a gaping hole in my environment. I was exposed. Vulnerable. When he didnt snap by in a hardly a(prenominal) minutes, I tried unsuccessfully to pay attention to my book, last freehanded up after Id read the same sentence five times. unbosom wanting lunch, I called and ordered a pizza pie, making sure I include enough for Carter. Doing this wasnt the best of ideas on my part since it meant opening the door eventually. When I did, I expected no less than an ground forces of nephilim outside. Instead, I only found a bored-looking pizza guy , demanding $15.07.I munched on the pizza and tried to watch television with little luck. Turning to the laptop, I checked my e-mail and found that Seth had sent me a funny allowter, much more eloquent than our earlier conversation, per usual. It only provided temporary distraction, and I was on the verge of recess out the torturet-by- deem kit when Carter blinked back into my dungeon room.What the blaze was that? Where have you been?The angel regarded me with a calm, wry smile. Easy on that point, havent you perpetually perceive of respecting boundaries in a relationship? It was in that book you were so quick to discard.Cut it out. You cant f logical argumentish say nephilim signature and then dis keep abreast forth a same(p) that.I can actually. I have to. He found the cold pizza on my counter and bit into a piece. Swallowing, he continued, This nephilims got a real twist sense of humor. Every once in a while, it bids to unmask f worst us, so to speak. This time it came from West Seattle.You can get a line that from this far away?Jerome and I can. We neer catch the creep, still we have to check it out anyway. Leads us on a merry chase.The implications seemed obvious to me. So you ply me? What if its a setup? What if it flashes you over in that location and then zaps back to me while all the attentions away?It cant secure zap around. Nephilim dont move akin higher immortals do theyre constrained by the same limitations as you, fortunately. This one would have to get in a car and drive back over here, honorable wish everyone else, which would hardly be a speedy process. Youre protected by miles of work congestion.Weird.Like we said, theyre unpredictable. They like breaking rules, palpitation up the status quo serious to see what well do.Weird, I repeated. Does it even know youre at that place? That its making you drop everything and come?If the nephilims marchinal enough, itd be able to sense the teleporting only nothing else pa st that. As long as were masked, our identities, strength, and whatever stay hidden. So, if it is lurking, it knows 2 higher immortals came to check it out, however not much more than that.And it provided watches and waits, I concluded. Kind of twisted. Lord, these things are a pain in the ass.Tell me al nearly it. They do not go gently into that good night. I blinked at the poetic reference. appreciation thats whats going to happen? Youre going to devour er, destroy it or something?Carter cocked his head toward me curiously. Whatd you hypothesise would happen? Ten years and word of honor?I dont know. I just pass judgment wow. I dont know. Are you into that? The whole smiting thing? I mean, I suppose you guys demolish evil on a mend basis, huh?We smite, as you so cutely term it, when we have to. Demons tend to be more into it than we are. In fact, Nanette even offered to come up and take care of this nephilim, he recalled, referring to Portlands archdemoness. just I tol d Jerome Id champion.Wouldnt Jerome want to do it himself?Do you refuse backup when its offered? he asked me, reply my question with a question which, really, was no answer at all. Thinking about it, he laughed softly. Of course, I forget, Georgina rushes in where angels maintenance to tread.Yeah, yeah, I know how that quote really goes. I stood up and stretched. Well, if the excitements over, I conceive Ill take a bath.Wow. The harsh modus vivendi of a succubus. I wish I had your job.Hey, our sides invariably recruiting. You dexterity need to be a little prettier to be an incubus, though. And a little more charming.Untrue. Mortal women go for jerks. I see it all the time.Touche.I left him and took my bath, afterward finally giving up my pajamas for jeans and a T-shirt. I re off-key to the living room, sullen on the television, and found The African- fay just starting. Carter adjoiningd the laptop and watched with me. Id always want Katharine Hepburn but couldnt help marvel at what a dull day this was round out to be. Avoiding going outside wouldnt do me any good in the long term since Id have to drag Carter around with me tomorrow anyway when I went to work. My voluntary enclosure today only extensive the inevitable. In light of this, I considered breaking the cabin fever by eyeight if he treasured to go to dinner after the movie. He shot up before I could speak, once more sensing a nephilim signature.Twice in one day?It happens.Where now?Lynn wood.This guy gets around. merely I was speaking to unload glory Carter had disappeared. Sighing, I turned back to the movie, feeling a little more at ease after the angels last explanation. The nephilim was in Lynnwood, trying to be a nuisance to Jerome and Carter. Commuting time was quick approaching, and Lynnwood was no small jump away. No nephilim would beat the angel back. As Carter had pointed out, I was safe for the time be. I had no need to panic.Yet, I close jumped out of my skin anyway when I comprehend the phone ring a few minutes later. Nervously, I picked up the receiver, imagining a nephilim blasting out of it.Hello?Hey. Its me again.Seth. Hi. hope Im not bothering you. I just wanted to see how you areBetter, I told him sincerely. I liked your e-mail.Did you? Cool.Our normal silence fell. So did you get a lot of composing do today?I did actually. round ten pages. That never sounds like a lot, but A knock sounded at the door, and a chill ran down my spine. apprise-can you hang on?Sure.Hesitantly, I prowled toward the door like a cat burglar, as though slow and drawn-out movements would actually do something against an insanely powerful supernatural being. reach the door, I carefully peered out the peephole.Roman.Exhaling with relief, I opened the door, resisting the urge to throw my harness around him. Hi.Are you talking to me? asked Seth by means of the phone.Hi, Roman told me, looking just as uncertain as I snarl. spate I come in? Er, no Im not, I mean, yes you can, and yes I am talking to you now. I stepped aside so Roman could enter. font Seth, can I, um, call you back? Or maybe Ill just see you tomorrow, okay?Uh, yeah. I guess. Everything okay?Its fine. Thanks for calling.We hung up, and I gave Roman my full attention.Seth Mortensen, famous author?Ive been sick today, I explained, using the same beg off Id given Seth. He just wanted to check on me.Terribly considerate of him. Roman put his hands in his pockets and paced.Were just friends.Of course you are. Because you dont date, right?Roman I cut off the plan of attack that wanted to rush out, switching to safer territory. put up I get you anything? Soda? hot chocolate?I cant stay. I was passing by dint of and got your message. I just thought Id I dont know what I was stand foring. It was stupid.He turned as if to leave, and I frantically reached out, grabbing his arm. Wait. Dont. p require.He turned to locution me, looking down from his lofty height, the normally go od-humored face grave today. Fighting my natural reply at such proximity, I matte up surprised when his expression softened, and he noted, mildly astonished, You really arent feeling fountainhead.W-what wanton aways you say that? I had shape-shifted my bruises away as Jerome had suggested and whatever ache pain I matte was no longer visible.Gingerly, he reached out and stroked my cheek, fingers fit bolder. I dont know youre just phase of macabre, I guess.I started to point out I wasnt wearing makeup and then realized I wanted to appear sick. Probably a cold.He let his hand drop. Is there anything I can do for you? I dont like seeing you like thisLord, how bad did I look? Im fine. I just need rest. Look, about the other night Im sorry, he interrupted. I shouldnt have pushed you I stared, amazed. You didnt do anything. It was me. I was the nutjob. Im the one who couldnt handle things.No, it was my fault. I k revolutionary how you matte up about getting serious, and I sti ll kissed you.I did as much fondling as you. That wasnt the problem. Me freaking out was the problem. I was inebriated and stupid. I shouldnt have done that to you.Its no problem. Really. Im just glad youre okay. A shadowy smile glimmered on his handsome features, and I toy withed Seth saying I was slowly to forgive. Look, since we both feel were at fault, maybe we can make it up to each other. Go out sometime this week and No. The calm certainty in my voice startled both of us.Georgina No. Roman, we arent going out anymore and I dont weigh we can really pull off friends either. I swallowed. Itd be better if we just make a lightsome break Georgina, he exclaimed, eyeball widening. You cant be serious. You and I I know. I know. still I cant do this. Not now.Youre breaking up with me.Well, we werent ever really going outWhat happened to you? he demanded. What happened to you at some point in your invigoration that made you so terrified of getting close to another person? What makes you run like this? Who hurt you?Look, its complicated. And it doesnt matter. That past is gone, remember? I just cant do this with you now, okay?Is there someone else? Doug? Or Seth?No Theres no one. I just cant be with you.We went around and around, rephrasing the same points in different ways, our emotions growing and growing. It felt like forever, but really only a few minutes passed as he pressed and I refused. He never turned angry or pushy, but his dismay was clearly apparent, and I felt certain Id telephone call as in short as he left.Finally, glancing at the time, he ran a hand ruefully finished his dark hair, turquoise look luminous with regret. I have to go. I want to talk to you more No. I dont think we should. Its better. Ive really liked being with youHe laughed harshly, walking toward the door. Dont say that. Dont scratch coat things.Roman I felt horrible. Anger and grief were written all over his face. Please understand crack you around, Georgina. Or maybe not.He had still slammed the door when divide spilled down my cheeks. passage to my bedroom, I lay down on my bed, ready for a good cry that never came. No more tears issued forth, in spite of my mixed feelings of hopelessness and relief. Part of me wanted to call Roman back right now, make him return to me the other part coolly warned I now had clear reason to cut Seth off as shortly as possible before things escalated. belove Lord, why did it seem I was always hurting mountain I cared about? What was it about me that made me repeat this stave over and over? Romans devastated face still hovered in my mind, but I took comfort in the fact that he hadnt been traumatized as much as Kyriakos. Not nearly as much.The discovery of my affair with Ariston had led to condemnation from both our families and an impending separate coupled with the loss of my dowry. I think I might have been able to handle that scorn, even the hateful looks. What I could not handle was the way Ky riakos had been au naturel(p) of all life and caring. I more or less wished he would turn angry and lash out at me, but there was nothing like that within him. Nothing at all. I had destroyed him. afterwards several days of separation, I found him sitting on one of the overstrung outcroppings overlooking the water. I tried to demand him in conversation a number of times, but he wasnt responding to any of it. He would only stare out at that expanse of blue, face dead and expressionless.I stood by him, my own emotions writhing privileged me. I had reveled in being a forbidden object of desire with Ariston, but I also wanted to be one of love with Kyriakos. I couldnt have it both ways apparently.I reached out to wipe the tears from his cheeks, and he slapped my hand away. It was the closest he had ever come to tearting me.Dont, he warned, leaping up. Dont ever touch me again. You sicken me.I felt my own tears now, even if his fussiness meant he was still alive. Please it was a m istake. I dont know what happened.He laughed hollowly, a terrible, mirthless sound. Dont you? You seemed to know perfectly well at the time. So did he.It was a mistake.He turned his back to me and walked over to the edge of the cliff, staring out at the sea. He spread his arms out and reorient his head back, letting the wind blow over him. Gulls cried nearby. Wh-what are you doing?I am quick, he told me. If I keep flying right over this edge, I provide be happy again. Or better yet, I wont feel anything at all. I wont think about you anymore. I wont think about your face or your eyes or the way you smile or the way you smell. I wont love you anymore. I wont hurt anymore.I approached him, half-afraid my presence would make him go over. Stop it. Youre scaring me. You dont mean any of this.Dont I?He looked at me, and there was no more anger or cynicism. Only grief. Sorrow. Despair. Depression subdueder than a moonless night. It was terrible and frightening. I wanted him to jibe at me again, to yell at me. I would have even let him hit me, if only to see some sort of heat in him. There was none of that, though. Only darkness.He gave me a sad, hopeless smile. The smile of one already dead.I lead never forgive you.PleaseYou were my life, Letha but no more. No more. I have no life now.He walked away, and even as my heart broke, I exhaled in relief to see him miserable away from the cliff. I wanted to run after him but gave him his space instead. sit down in his spot, I draw my knees up and buried my face in them, half wishing I was dead.Hell come back here, you know, a voice suddenly said behind me. The pull is too strong. And next time, he may go over.I jerked my head up, startled. I hadnt heard anyone approach. I didnt contend the man who now stood there, odd in a townsfolk where everyone knew everyone else. He was trim down and well-groomed, dressed in clothes more elegant than I usually saw around here.Who are you?They call me Niphon, he said with a small bow. And you are Letha, Marthanes daughter, urinateerly wife of Kyriakos.I still am his wife. barely not for long.I turned my face away. What do you want?I want to help you, Letha. Id like to help you with this mess youve gotten yourself into.No one can help me. Not unless you can expose the past.No. No one can undo the past. I can make the great unwashed forget it, though.I slowly turned back to him, assessing his bright eyes and neat manner. Stop joking. Im not in the mood.I assure you, I am most earnest.Staring at him, I suddenly somehow knew he was telling the truth, as impossible as it was to believe. Later I would learn that Niphon was an imp, but at the time, I had only sensed that he had a strange air about him, the talk of power that promised he really could do what he said.How?His eyes gleamed, not opposed Hughs when he was on the edge of a major deal. To erase the memory of what youve done is no small feat. It carries a toll.Can you make me forget too?No. B ut I can make everyone else forget. Your family, your friends, the town. Him.I dont know I dont think I could go back to them then. yet if they didnt remember, I still would. I couldnt face Kyriakos like that. Unless I hesitated, wondering if it might not be better never to come in contact with them again. Can you make them forget me altogether? start it like Ive never been born?Niphondrew a sharp, excited breath. Yes, oh yes. But a favour like that a favor like that carries an even higher priceHed explained it to me then, what Id have to give in return to tout ensemble blot me from the minds of those Id known. My soul was a given. Id flow it as long as I walked the earth, but it would have a lease on it, so to speak. That was the standard price for any funny farmish deal. But hell wanted more of me my eternal helper in the corruption of souls. I would glide by the rest of my days seducing men, fulfilling their fantasies for my own gain and for those whom I served. It was an ironic fate, considering what had brought me to this point.To aid me, Id gain the ability to take any form I chose, as well as the power to enhance my own charm. And of course, Id have eternal life. Immortality and invulnerability. For some, that might have been improvement all.Youd be good. One of the best. I can sense it within you. Imps had the ability to look into a persons soul and nature. Most people think desire is only in the body, but its here too. He fey my forehead. And you would never die. You would stay young and bonny forever, until the earth perishes.And after that?He smiled. Thats a long way off, Letha, whereas your husbands life is at stake now.That had been what sold me. The knowledge that I could save Kyriakos and give him a new life, a life free of me where he would have a chance to be happy once more. A life where I could slink away from my pity and maybe even be sincerely punished. My soul which I barely understand anyway seemed a small price. Id agre e to the bargain, first shaking on it, then putting my mark on paperwork I couldnt read. Niphon left me, and I returned to town. It was eerily simple.When I returned, it was exactly as he had promised. The wish had already been carried out. No one knew me. flying people people Id known my entire life gave me the glances reserved for strangers. My own sisters walked by me without recognition. I wanted to find Kyriakos, to see if it was the same for him, but I couldnt summons the courage. I didnt want him to see my face, not ever again, even if he didnt recognize it. So I spent the day wandering, trying to accept the fact that I was gone to these people. It was harder than I thought it would be. And sadder.When pin came, I retreated again to the outskirts of town. I had nowhere to stay, after all. No family or friends. Instead, I sat in the dark, reflexion the moon and stars, wondering what I was sibyllic to do now. The answer came quickly.She blush wine almost from the ground , at first appearing as nothing more than a shadow, then gradually coalescing into the shape of a woman. The air vibrated with power around her, and suddenly I felt suffocated. I backed up, consternation filling every part of me, my lungs otiose to take in air. Wind rose from nowhere, whipping my hair and flattening the grass around me.Then, she stood before me, and the night was still again. Lilith. Queen of the Succubi. Lady of the Night. The First Woman.Fear like I had never known move over me and lust. I had never been attracted to a woman before, but Lilith has that effect on everyone. It is fixed in her being. No one can resist her.She wore a tall, slim shape that night, go outowy and lovely. Her skin was the pale white of the aristocracy of that time a white never achieved by those of us who worked outside regularly. Her hair was a ravens wing of black, falling in gleaming waves to her ankles. And her eyes well, let me just say theres a reason the old myths call succub i flame-eyed. Her eyes were beautiful and deadly, promising anything you could ever want or desire if only you would let her help you. I still cant remember what color they were, but I could not look away from them that night.Letha, she crooned, approaching me. The air shimmered around her, and I actually trembled now from my desire. I wanted to run but instead sank to my knees, both from respect and the unfitness to stand. She came to me and tipped my chin so that I had to look in those eyes again. Sharp, black nails dug painfully into my skin, and it felt wonderful. You will be my own daughter now, feast discord and passion for the rest of your days. You will be both punisher and tester, a fauna of both dreams and nightmares. Mortals will do anything for you, just for a touch. You will be loved and desired until the earth is dust.I whimpered at her proximity, and then she moved closer still, lifting me up so I stood before her. Those magnificent lips came to mine, and that kiss shot orgasmic pleasure through my body. My cries were lost, smothered in that kiss. I closed in(p) my eyes, otiose to look at her and unable to break away. I soaked into that spell pulsing over and over in my body. And yet, as I let that gladness consume me, something else happened too.My mortality was being mere(a) away.It felt like disintegrating, like I had become ashes in the wind. I wondered if that was how dying felt. Like you were nothing. Gone. Then, just as quickly, I was put back together, myself once more. But I could feel the power eager through me now, different from the life that change humans. My immortality shone like a star in the night, cold and pure. No longer would old age threaten. No longer would disorder haunt me. No longer would my var. be passionately driven by the knowledge that time was short, that I had to leave my mark on the world. That I had to pass on my blood.I opened my eyes, and the approach of pleasure disappeared. So did Lilith. I sto od alone in the darkness, quivering with my newfound power. And with that power, I could feel something more an itch in my flesh. An itch that told me my skin could become anything I wanted it to be with only a thought. I was reborn. I was empowered.And I was sharp-setWhats wrong?Blinking back tears, I looked up at Carter. He stood in the doorway to my bedroom, pushing a gyre of hair out of his eyes, face concerned.Nothing, I muttered, burying my face in my pillow. No nephilim ?No nephilim. An awkward pause followed. Look are you sure youre okay? Because you dont look okay.Im fine. Didnt you hear me?He still wouldnt give up, though. I know were not that close, but if you need to talk Like youd understand, I scoffed, venom in my voice. Youve never had a heart. You dont know what its like, so dont even strike like you do.Georgina.Go. Away. Please.I turned back toward my pillow, waiting for another protest, but none came. When I dared a peek, the angel was gone.